“I’ve come to this conclusion: the reason I protect my heart so, and build walls up, is because; I know if I let my guard down, and let someone in, I would surely be head over heels in a heartbeat.”—(via eletheowl)
My weekdays sucks seriously. everyday, i have new things to stress about. just counted as my luck. sigh. i just hope that nothing bad like this week will happen again. what a combo.
but then again, time spend with my clients there were fun. mj everyday. knowing that they appriciate me. eventhough some of the staff there isn’t very friendly. but those that are friendly,they are very kind as well!
It’s my freaking last day at the Salvation Army. when shah, yat and i finally get used to the place. zzz.
was about half an hour late fo work today. as we went over to mac to have breakfast and i did my reflection there. when we reached, nobody say anything and teacher didn’t call or anything. just count us lucky. hahahahs.
send client out to the nearby area fo a walk and to drink coffee at the coffeeshop. hahah! i take care of a very cute uncle who’s name was very similar to mine, and he say we’re one pair. HAA! so cute. and also a auntie who seat on wheelchair. so the uncle push the wheelchair when the auntie is seating on it. seriously was freaking cute! people notice and they giggle.
had lunch with TeckHeng, as yat and shah was doing the project. it’s the last day of TeckHeng’s CSO! he was like very happy lo. lol. congrats to him too. hopefully he’ll learn to be good after this time.
went home and meet my family. as it’s Nic’s birthday today! 5 yrs old! hahahs. went to eat buffet together.
what is the problem now? i dislike being treated like this. i dont’ even know what had happen. is this the way ya gona treat the person you love, always when you have mood swings?
it’s not only you the only one who is unhappy. i would very much like to cry out fxcking loud seriously. that’s why when i have the chance to cry, i’ll always cry even longer even though the matter is over. fo i can use that as an excuse to cry, and i dont’ have to tell people whats actually happening.
if you cant handle ya moodswings and ya stress, dont’ show it. i myself too have my own problems that i dont’ tell people.
cant you see that im trying very hard to please you now? what i want to say is, please spare a thought fo me too dear. but i guess you’ll still be the same.
“What you see is only half of what I am. I have a hundred different faces, a million different personalities. Only a part of me is what I show you. I display a fraction of my true self. Everything is just a facade. It’s not the truth of me. You don’t know me. You never will.”—(via eletheowl)
Got shouted by one idiot with the name of YiShen. she’s not even the in charge, there. and she shouted at me just because i push the pt to the wrong place.
(i shall state the incident)
this particular pt is going home but he is on wheelchair, therefore we’ll have to push them into the van. but one staff told me that this pt suppose to go to another side (he pointed to his right and said all the way there.) so i thought it’s the dinning area. as some other pt also bought their van from there.
when i reached there, YiShen say pt is not suppose to be at here but area 1. (she pointed to her left) -but not even a bloody sole told me where is area 1, she just say right over there.
so i thought must be the staff say wrongly. so i push the pt back to where we were at first.
but this YiShen shouted- STUDENT! i said area 1 right?
Me: but i dont’ know where is area 1.
YiShen: AREA 1! (pointing at the Gymnasium.) she shouted.
Me: the door put Gymnasium wad.
i was serously feeling very cranky. she shouted at me in front of so many people! and this is the first time someone shouted at me, not even my mother shouted at me in front of so many people. and she didn’t even have the right to scold me.
some of the staff heard that she shouted at me. and they told me that she didn’t have the right to scold me and they also say that they dont’ call it area 1 but call is Gymnasium. and they ask me to go complain to the head and they will complain to their head too.
after that i went into the staff room and called Mdm Heng. i cried while calling. never had i get shouted by people other than my mum and never had i get shouted in front of so many people. and she shouted to damn loudly. yat was shock to see me crying after putting down the phone. shah came over and console me.
TeckHeng and one more guy who also have to do community service came over and ask me to go confront YiShen, and one of the staff ask me not to cry and go complain. i keep trying to stop crying but it was really very difficult. i was kinda cranky. and partially was because of some issue that got me kinda stressed up.
after seeing one whole chunk of words that i’ve typed out. i think i should stop and do what i always do as usual.
FUCK YOU REAL DEEP YOU BLOODY IDIOT! FUCK YOU FO SHOUTING AT ME FO NO FUCKING REASON. I GUESS YOU MUST HAVE PROBLEM PRONOUCING GYMNASIUM! IF NOT WHY DONT’ YOU CALL IT? BUT CALL IT AREA 1, WHEN OTHER STAFF SAY GYMNASIUM?! SERIOUSLY FUCK YOU FO SHOUTING AT ME, THIS IS MY SECOND DAY THERE! WTF DO YOU EXPECT?! NOT EVEN MY MUM SHOUT AT ME LIKE THIS! I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE TO USE A FUCKING NEEDLE TO STICTH UP YA FUCKING LIPS! BLOODY ASSHOLE.
phew. felt so much better. hahahaha! anyway, Mdm Heng will be coming tml and she’ll sort out the problem fo me.
PS- told mum about it. and she got freaking mad and started cursing the YiShen. she say if she dare to shout at me again, she’ll ask bro to go down together with her. and she say that she didn’t born me out to get shouted by people! LOL!
First day there, seriously was blur and freaking boring. didn’t know what to do. and not a freaking sole came over to brief us. luckily there’s this guy who have to do community service there, he briefly tell me what is the activity next.
time there past quite slow too. some granny are still pretty strong while one was very slow but not frail. she walk freakingly slow.
but somehow had fun today too? as there is yat and shah to keep me company. the both of them were like freaking funny, and shah kept singing none stop. hope ain will be back soon.
“Who wants the perfect guy? Not me. I don’t want anyone perfect. I don’t want anyone normal, that’s just boring. I want someone weird. I want someone unpredictable. I want someone who lets things slide and who loves to laugh and make me laugh. I want someone who will be crazy about me, and isnt afraid to let every one know it. I want him to be able to tell me to shut the hell up when I am bugging him. I want someone who challenges me, in every way. I want someone who puts up with my shit, but isn’t a push over. I want someone who pisses me off, but I can never be mad at, but perfect? That’s one thing I never want, maybe just perfect for me.”—(via eletheowl)
First thing first, i met Wilson Leborn in the ward yesterday!! the hottest PT i’ve ever met! YELLS! first, he was walking behind me. he cough, so i turn. and i was weak on my knees. hahahas. he need someone who can speak chi to the pt. and mingmin and i was like -WE CAN!
we help him to translate. but sadly, half way thru. CI ash came in and say 1person will do, another go bathe the pt with me. and so mingmin went with her. and left me with him! after everything, he ask fo my name. and he said thank you Cheryl. melted* nowonder azzarah said that he was the reason that she will come fo work everyday. now i understand. hahahas!
kays. now about today, went to Expo with Love. meeting my brother and sis in law over at there. didn’t expect mum will be going too. but when we know about it, Love was very worried. LOL! but things turns out will eventually. just that mum don’t know how to speak malay and english, and Love cant’ talk much chi. so the both of them didn’t communicate much. but Love ask my mum if she had eated in chi! and mum ans back eaten. hahahas.
went to TM together after that had our dinns then all go seperate ways. Love and i went cont’ shopping and we went to TimeZone to play games! was seriously fun.
now im waiting fo my brother to fetch me to their house later on, and will be bringing nic. my nephew out to East Coast with my Love tommorrow. and hopefully it won’t rain.
“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”—Marilyn Monroe (via kari-shma) (via quote-book)
“Everything changes eventually, that’s just the way life is, and you have no control over it. Like, suddenly, people who you think are always going to be there. They disappear, you know?”—(via eletheowl)
woke up and do house work fo afew hours, while my Love was talking to me on the phone.
mom came home, and we went to Ichiban Sushi to have our dinns. argh. i rather eat maggi mee than eating those stuff. the food there was so salty. i only like the coke float. LOL! the bill came and it fxking cost 90.25$ i’ve been drinking lots of water since i’ve reached home. argh. the chawanmushi wasn’t that great too.
told mom afew things about what had happen in the ward. she’s not worried that i’ll get bullied there. but she’s more worried that i might get into trouble with my temper. LOL!
1week over. and now left with 8more weeks to go. sob. how i wish i can controll the time. hahas.
The day before my Love and i went to take the Sg Flyer, he wanted to surprise me with his new hair cut. as i’ve been asking him to cut his hair since dont’ know when.
so he went down to the usual shop where he always have his hair cut done, sadly the shop was closed. so he went to another shop to get the hair cut. he told the uncle that he want layered, but the kuku uncle heard wrongly and tot he said slope. LOL!
he didnt’ want to tell me about the hair cut as he wanted to surprise me. but too bad, his new hair cut isnt’ nice, so bo bian. he called me and tell me the whole story. LOL!
poor thing. wanted to do something nice fo me, end up kena shit. but still is th hardship that counts. i love him. <3
“Tell her shes amazing.
Promise her you will kiss her in the rain.
Walk with her holding hands.
Talk with her late into night.
Tickle her, and then kiss her.
Just kiss her. Because she loves the feel of your lips.
Hold her. It makes her feel safe.
Let her run and jump into your arms.
Watch girly movies with her.
And when she starts crying, hold her tightly.
Tell her shes perfect for you.
Just tell her you love her.
She needs to hear that.”—(via runawaytrain)
“Laying there with your arms around me, I felt so comfortable and safe. My heart was beating a mile a minute having you so close to me. As you played with my hair and kissed me, I couldn’t help but smile straight from my heart. I could see how much you cared from the look in your eyes. It made me never want to let you go, to just stay wrapped in your arms forever, where nothing else matters but you and me.”—(via eletheowl)
Went out and spent my whole day with my Love. first stop was to his gpa’s house to shave his gpa’s facial hair. his gpa is freaking cute. talk half way, then suddenly luff. cant help but to luff with him. somehow understand wad he said. at times when i couldnt’, got to ask my Love to translate fo me.
after that, train down to Novena. argh. waste my freaking time there. i tot that there’s more shops now and i can do some shopping. but the shops there wasn’t really my type?
so train down to AMK! hahas. went over to a particular shop @ Broadway if im not wrong. wanted to try on a dress that i saw that time when i was out with my Godparents. after putting on, i showed Love and asked fo his comment. he find it revealing, as it’s kinda short. and he dont’ think i should where that fo shopping but to go clubbing etc. so i tried on another top from the same shop, and he like it. LOL! he find it sweet. hahahas. so I’VE BOUGHT IT!
went to Hub to shop fo awhile, went in to a shop and the both of us bought a card game! name- The Card Game For Lovers. in the game, you can make ya partner do the things you want from the cards. i tot the cards will be more on verbal. didn’t expect to have so many action ones. argh. got cheated, if not will be, im just to naive. LOL!
train back to my place and he walked me home, we stopped at a avoid deck to try the game. (the way to the void deck was freaking fun!) at the box of the cards, it was stated -A fun romantic game fo your private and intimate times together. apparently it wasnt’ private as we were at the void deck! argh. but start the game and half way thru, he told me that he start to like this game. OF COS HE SHOULD! lmfao. and he want to play it again next week.
after the game, we went home. he told me if possible, he would like to hug me whole night. hurrrr~ i would very much want too. ):
PS- while we were at Novena, i went to the toilet. after i came out, Love was standing there with a bag of biscult that he bought from a shop that is selling Japanese snack, and pass it to me. fast act. but sweet. LOL!
11903.) don't you ever wonder at some point of time, if i'm missing you? if you do it's cause you have a big ego. you've never ever told me i miss you even though i keep dropping such big hints. all girls need reassurance.
“I love you. Not maybe, not tomorrow, not someday, right now - at this very moment. I realized something. I need you. I trust you, I admire you, I want you. And while you can be wrong a lot of the time, and we can fight, and get mad at each other, but nothing, nothing in this world can change the fact that I love you.”—(via runawaytrain)
“I don’t know what it is about you, maybe it’s the way nothing else matters when we’re talking, or how you make me smile more than anyone else has. It could be the way that you say the exact right thing and exactly the right time but whatever it is, i just want you to know that it means everything to me.”—(via eletheowl)
Days have been passing quite fast? it has become a routine, always have pt not more than 4, as there is only 5 beds in a room. and pt come and go like ZOOM~! but when there’s nothing to do = seat down watch tv with pt and enjoy the air-con. HAHAHA!
im kinda satisfied with my log book as it’s filling!